reliving some memories

I am not stuck in the past, I am living the past in the present, I am reliving all the memories.

You can’t escape it, it will haunt u down.

Not even the night is able to offer a shelter, it remains full of nightmares.

What to do? When my whole being is suffering?

I thought, if what I perceive from the outside world, what I sense, and transfer it into me as a message to my nerves system, the message crossing my body and causing such a physical and emotional pain, if it is from the outside, than maybe I can fool my brain, and perceive it in another way, fool my senses maybe, to tell my mind that what I see isn’t real, and what I hear isn’t here, but I’ll become somehow unreal.

How can such a pain exist?

If we are meant to breathe to survive, why does it hurt that bad to breathe, when all I want is to survive?

Why can’t I shut these feelings out?

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~ by Rain on April 24, 2010.

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