country at war
i live in a country at war. I can’t know when a new war starts, living awaiting one after the other, yet trying to live for a future which is in my mind is war-free.
I sometimes hold and squeeze my stomach so hard and think how am I supposed to bring a child to this place?
You see, I’ve been through it, I’ve been under a sky on fire, I’ve seen a father passed out on the street with his kids between his arms, I heard the scream of mothers, I smelled the smell of dead people, I know what war is like.
I used to think I will never leave that country, no matter what, that was my home and I am going to stick to it.
The truth, I never felt at home, I never felt I have a country; in fact I am foreigner and will be.
But I also believe that the right person in the wrong place can make a different. So my battle isn’t over yet.
I don’t know about politics and economics, but I know some about humanity.
I know we can communicate, I know we deserve better than this.
I am tired of discriminations, judgments, attacks, I am tired of religions as well.
Funny, that in the bible I learned that we must love our enemies and forgive them, that we should not have enemies, and I reached a time in my life when I went and asked my mother: “how is Israel my enemy? When I should not have enemies?”
Mother said it is the enemy of your country, thus it is your enemy. I refused. Not because it was written on some paper and been taught so, but because it doesn’t feel right.
Because on the other side from that border, I believe I have a friend, on the other side of the border there are people like me, who hate, cry, suffer, fall in love… humans, if you know what I mean.
Today I wrote this, thinking of the soldiers all over the world, not as soldiers but as mothers, fathers, friends, neighbors, daughters, sons… and thinking about what they are willing to sacrifice for a cause, and trying to imagine their pain to be away from their family, or try to imagine the pain of a family who lost a beloved at war.
I wrote, because this is the only way I can show respect.
I wrote, because this is the only weapon I have to fight for my own cause.
