Share Beirut

In the time of the registration for the Share Beirut event, we got asked for our reasons, my reason was “I want to improve myself and my surrounding and change the world, so I am seeking new ways to be inspired, motivated, new perspectives to accomplish it.”

I am super glad I didn’t miss that event. I’ve got all that I asked for and more. Seeing people doing something make me the happiest, It simply makes me want to fight harder. We are alone at times when we stand, but in the big picture we aren’t, we are not the only ones trying to do something, we are not the only people struggling in the process. I already am aware of many things but I realized how much more I need to be aware of things, we must read more about it, learn more about it, dig deeper and ask for answers and refuse to take no as one, and if they didn’t have the answer, we might as well find it. We have to ask questions, plenty of questions, from the silliest to the most outrageous or smartest questions. We have to speak up, stand up, stop saying: “we are alone, we can’t accomplish much in the face of majority”, any little thing could be significant, any little thing matters. Believe in the capacity of individuals to cause a change, you might be ordinary and our actions might be ordinary, but our fight as a whole could accomplish some extraordinary things. Do not get used to it, do not numb yourself to it and adopt “oh, well it is life” attitude, see how it could be and find practical ways to make it so. You might not change it to your ideal (you will never do) but you could try and try and try.

Whenever I wanted to talk about the event, the hardest task was to explain to people that it was not related to politics, it is not corrupted. It is kinda funny when I see some people asking me “who is doing the event? What are they talking about in the event? Be careful! They might brainwash you or drag you into something corrupted…” You know why it is funny? Because the same people afraid of me being brainwashed are the most brainwashed ones following blindly politicians, voting for the same ones over and over again. Well maybe not that funny and more like sad.

Life was easier to bear with religion.

When I was being truthful and no one would believe me, I used to comfort myself thinking “well at least God knows”.

When I was misunderstood and my opinions had no importance, because I was a little child, how can an opinion of a child be that important?, I used to tell myself “God understands”.

When I got hurt by others and couldn’t speak up for myself, I used to think that God would give me back my justice one day.

When I used to wonder about the meaning of life, my purpose, Christianity comforted me with a path written that gave me a meaning and a purpose and a told me how to be human.

When the idea of death was hard for me to digest, the thought of an after life gave me another great comfort, I will meet the ones I loved and lost, that was enough for me to sleep.

When things were falling apart knowing that God would catch me if I fall made me more fearless.

 

The process of letting go of God took all my comfort and peace of mind.

People who knew me from a small age, know how religious I was then I reached a point, which to me was the last point, when mother told me “You need to open up to God, accept him fully and he will take care of you”.

I didn’t want to.

I was going through a shitty time but I didn’t want God to take care of me, I wanted to do it by myself, If was going to stand, I was determinant to stand by myself this time.

I was tired of being taught what was “good” and “bad”, morals and values can be obtained without religions.

Being a good human being is not related to religions.

I built enough courage to stand and think that it is fine to be alone, I don’t need “you’re not alone, God is with you” belief to make me feel safe.

I can stand by myself even if the whole world didn’t believe me, I can stand firm on my own.

Even if no one understood, sometimes you have to be okay with being the only person who might understand.

God will not give me justice, I don’t want his rewards or punishments. I will stand up for what I view as my rights and defend them, on my own.

The meaning of life? The purpose of life? It is derived from me and not from books or from other people.

I learned to accept death is the end, It is scary heck yeah but being afraid would only help me live more. I only have this life here and the ones I lost, would always remain a part of me through memories and the effect they had on me and they will die with me.

I made a conscious decision to take God out of my life, because it was limiting me.

Some might say that believing in god is liberating, the only thing I find liberating is looking at things from all different perspectives, being able to doubt and question and re-evaluate and reconsider.

It might make my life harder but I never chose anything because it was simply easier.

 

PS: I didn’t believe in God for the comfort it gave me, but it was after discussing with a friend saying that I chose to let go of God because it was easier (which wasn’t). It is a personal experience so i am not speaking about religious people or how it is.

*touches you*

She wanders in the chapel as silence reigns.
no one ever heard her voice but some have claimed to hear her sing.
She lived between people, but spend most of her time in solitude, and from time to time she used to touch some chosen ones and leave back to the chapel to wander around and maybe sing.
people who have been touched fell in agony, it was never a curse, but simply the truth.
delivered by frozen fingertips caressing their skin, they got a taste of what this woman carried around with her for ages, they felt feelings they never felt, and since then they were never the same.

country at war

i live in a country at war. I can’t know when a new war starts, living awaiting one after the other, yet trying to live for a future which is in my mind is war-free.

I sometimes hold and squeeze my stomach so hard and think how am I supposed to bring a child to this place?

You see, I’ve been through it, I’ve been under a sky on fire, I’ve seen a father passed out on the street with his kids between his arms, I heard the scream of mothers, I smelled the smell of dead people, I know what war is like.

I used to think I will never leave that country, no matter what, that was my home and I am going to stick to it.

The truth, I never felt at home, I never felt I have a country; in fact I am foreigner and will be.

But I also believe that the right person in the wrong place can make a different. So my battle isn’t over yet.

I don’t know about politics and economics, but I know some about humanity.

I know we can communicate, I know we deserve better than this.

I am tired of discriminations, judgments, attacks, I am tired of religions as well.

Funny, that in the bible I learned that we must love our enemies and forgive them, that we should not have enemies, and I reached a time in my life when I went and asked my mother: “how is Israel my enemy? When I should not have enemies?”

Mother said it is the enemy of your country, thus it is your enemy. I refused. Not because it was written on some paper and been taught so, but because it doesn’t feel right.

Because on the other side from that border, I believe I have a friend, on the other side of the border there are people like me, who hate, cry, suffer, fall in love… humans, if you know what I mean.

Today I wrote this, thinking of the soldiers all over the world, not as soldiers but as mothers, fathers, friends, neighbors, daughters, sons… and thinking about what they are willing to sacrifice for a cause, and trying to imagine their pain to be away from their family, or try to imagine the pain of a family who lost a beloved at war.

I wrote, because this is the only way I can show respect.

I wrote, because this is the only weapon I have to fight for my own cause.

Thank you, mum

I was often angry at my parents for bringing me to this world.

I hated my existence for so long, I still do; for that, mum, I am sorry, but it is the truth.

But when it comes to you, tears of gratitude and a feeling of serenity overwhelm me.

I’ll never be able to repay you for holding me tight when I wasn’t making any sense

For forgiving my smallest and biggest mistake

For loving me when I couldn’t even love myself

For sacrificing yourself to protect me

Thank you for teaching me how to stand up and refuse the abuse

To accept people for who they are

To endue pain

To smile more often

To be kind to others

To dream, even when you try to stop me from following what I want, I can see beneath it all, I can see your faith in me

I can see your support

I learned from a small age to look at my parents as humans who do mistakes and can be wrong

But even with that, and all your imperfections, I couldn’t have had a better person to look up too

Through all the darkness of my childhood and lifetime, you were and still are my light

Mum, as a child, a teenager and as a woman, I thank you

I couldn’t have made it through without you.

I love you.

reliving some memories

I am not stuck in the past, I am living the past in the present, I am reliving all the memories.

You can’t escape it, it will haunt u down.

Not even the night is able to offer a shelter, it remains full of nightmares.

What to do? When my whole being is suffering?

I thought, if what I perceive from the outside world, what I sense, and transfer it into me as a message to my nerves system, the message crossing my body and causing such a physical and emotional pain, if it is from the outside, than maybe I can fool my brain, and perceive it in another way, fool my senses maybe, to tell my mind that what I see isn’t real, and what I hear isn’t here, but I’ll become somehow unreal.

How can such a pain exist?

If we are meant to breathe to survive, why does it hurt that bad to breathe, when all I want is to survive?

Why can’t I shut these feelings out?

a pen and a paper

Can a pen and a paper be the new therapy?

A pen and a paper can help over come a tragedy when nothing else seems to work

A pen and a paper could help planting some positive seeds for you to hope

It is funny; all we needed to survive was just a pen and a piece of paper

So now I can write endless letters addressed to you

Telling you how I feel and how I felt

And I’ll reply to those letters as if I was you

Walking some miles in your shoes

And express my reasons and answer the question “why”

Than I’ll be back to being me

And reply to your reply

I’ll do it over and over again

Till I feel it is okay for me to breathe

It is ok for me to let go

That I do deserve to heal

Hahaha, a pen and a paper, who have thought?

random thoughts

My whole life I hated goodbyes … but I have to realize that goodbyes are a part of this life. People come and go …

Today I said goodbye with tears in my eyes and a burning sensation in my heart, but with a feeling of serenity as well.

In the last few days, I met someone from the other side, I got the change to talk to who is supposed to be my enemy, but he is not even close to be an enemy.

I never thanked him for that chance, so I will take this opportunity to thank him, for giving me some hope, just a little beam of light shining on my dream to make me believe again.

He told me about a song, which make me feel a bond with the other side, a bond that was destroyed through war, a humanity bond.

The song is for Matisyahu, it is called “one day”

sometimes I lay
under the moon
and thank God I’m breathing
then I pray
don’t take me soon
cause I am here for a reason
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it’ll all turn around
because
all my life I’ve been waiting for
I’ve been praying for
for the people to say
that we don’t wanna fight no more
they’ll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
it’s not about
win or lose
we all lose
when they feed on the souls of the innocent
blood drenched pavement
keep on moving though the waters stay raging
in this maze you can lose your way (your way)
it might drive you crazy but don’t let it faze you no way (no way)
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it’ll all turn around
because
all my life I’ve been waiting for
I’ve been praying for
for the people to say
that we don’t wanna fight no more
they’ll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
one day this all will change
treat people the same
stop with the violence
down with the hate
one day we’ll all be free
and proud to be
under the same sun
singing songs of freedom like
one day x4
all my life I’ve been waiting for
I’ve been praying for
for the people to say
that we don’t wanna fight no more
they’ll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6

it made me wonder, if someday “one day” will come, I lived my whole life waiting for that “one day”.

Photography, changed the way I saw the world, I always cherished pictures, and enjoyed looking at random pictures, and I was always fascinated how a photo can save a memory, how it can capture the unseen, how it can deliver a message, and the more I got into it, I started to see the world behind the camera.

See buildings as perspectives, and look at everything considering how I can take a unique shot, and before I knew it was able to answer the question that people often asked and I wasn’t able to answer before “what will you not leave the house without?”  and the answer is my camera.

Through photography I was able to challenge myself, and to approach other people, mostly through portrait, to visit places I never visited and to notice things I never noticed, to not care about what others thought, I was sleeping down on the ground to be able to shoot without caring what people around me were thinking, cuz all I cared about was to get my shot.

This year, I’ve been moving around in public transportations like services and buses, and I am surprised how much going in services made my personality stronger, I was always paranoid by trusting some stranger who I have no idea how he drives to get me home, I am not paranoid that much anymore, and everyday, something new happened, you hear the people stories in services and you see new things everyday, that was fun to me.

And lately I’ve been walking home; walking made me see something new everyday, you never notice your hometown till you walk slowly in it.

“11 minutes” & masturbation

After reading “11 minutes” by Paulo Coelho, and the impact that book had on me, I felt the need to share what I learned with you.

The book deals with sexuality, the importance of passion, and the conception of sex.

introduction

Maria, from the interior of Brazil, goes to seek her fortune in Switzerland, only to find that reality is harder than she expected and she ends up working in a brothel on Rue de Berne, the heart of Geneva’s red-light district. The book deals with issues surrounding sex and sexuality, such as prostitution, and sacred sex in the context of love. Because of its graphic descriptions, the novel has been described as “erotic”.

Maria is on journey to find what true love is but ends up letting her own life guide her. She enters a life that leads her down the path of sexual awakenings and almost leads to her self-destruction when she is introduced to all sides of sexual experience. When she has given up hope to find true love she meets a painter with whom she falls in love. And she must now choose where she is to take her life. Either to let it lead her or finally take control of her life and end this subtle self-destructive life she is leading. Just like many of Coelho’s books, this book is also about a journey of self-discovery that leads the reader into understanding the issues of sex (in prostitution), sacred sex, and sex in the context of love.

The book started by this beautiful poem:

“For I am the first and the last
I am the venerated and the despised
I am the prostitute and the saint
I am the wife and the virgin
I am the mother and the daughter
I am the arms of my mother
I am the barren and my children are many
I am the married woman and the spinster
I am the woman who gives birth and she who never procreated
I am the consolation for the pain of birth
I am the wife and the husband
And it was my man who created me
I am the mother of my father
I am the sister of my husband
And he is my rejected son
Always respect me
For I am the shameful and the magnificent one.”

And I will share some more quotes from the book before I talk more about my topic:
At every moment of our lives we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss.
Eleven Minutes

After a while she began to enter a kind of paradise, the feelings grew in intensity, until she noticed that she could no longer see or hear clearly, everything appeared to be tinged with yellow, and then she moaned with pleasure and had her first orgasm. Orgasm! It was like floating up to heaven and then parachuting slowly down to earth again.
Eleven Minutes
Maria discovers masturbation.

If I must be faithful to someone or something, then I have, first of all, to be faithful to myself.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s diary

Anyone who has lost something they thought was theirs forever finally come to realize that nothing really belongs to them.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s diary

. It is not time that changes man, nor knowledge; the only thing that can change someone’s mind is love.
Eleven Minutes

I’m not a body with a soul, I’m a soul that has a visible part called body.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s diary.

In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s diary.

No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s diary.

There is always a right moment to stop something.
Eleven Minutes

Passion: it can be used to describe the beauty of an earth-shaking meeting between two people… It’s there in the excitement of the unexpected, in the desire to do something with real fervor, in the certainty that one is going to realize a dream. Passion sends us signal that guide us through our lives, and it’s up to me to interpret those signs.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s Diary.

Considering the way the world is, one happy day is almost a miracle.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s Diary.

The great aim of every human being is to understand the meaning of total love. Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s Diary.

Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s Diary.

Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it – which of these two attitudes is the least destructive? I don’t know.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s Diary.

Profound desire, true desire is the desire to be close to someone.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s Diary.

What is real always finds a way of revealing itself.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s Diary.

Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s Diary.

Anyone who is in love is making love the whole time, even when they’re not. When two bodies meet, it is just the cup overflowing. They can stay together for hours, even days. They begin the dance one day and finish it the next, or – such is the pleasure they experience – they may never finish it. No eleven minutes for them.
Eleven Minutes
Ralf to Maria.

Sex has come to be used as some kind of a drug: in order to escape reality, to forget about problems, to relax. And like all drugs, this is a harmful and destructive practice.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s Diary.

We all have a clock inside us, and in order to make love, the hands on both clocks have to be pointing to the same time… If you love another person, you don’t depend on sex act to feel good. Two people who live together and love each other need to adjust the hands of their clocks, with patience and perseverance, until they realize that making love is more than just an encounter, it is genital ’embrace’.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s Diary.

If you live your life intensely, you experience pleasure all the time and don’t feel the need for sex.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s diary.

When a teacher helps someone to discover something, the teacher always learns something new too.
Eleven Minutes
Terence to Maria.

The world enjoys suffering and pain. There’s sadism in the way we look at these things, and masochism in our conclusion that we don’t need to know all this in order to be happy, and yet we watch other people’s tragedies and sometimes suffer along with them.
As I say, it’s the human condition. Ever since we were expelled from paradise, we have either been suffering, making other people suffer or watching the suffering of others. It’s beyond our control.
Eleven Minutes
Terence to Maria.

The art of sex is the art of controlled abandon.
Eleven Minutes
From Maria’s diary.

We are human beings, we are born full of guilt; we feel terrified when happiness becomes real possibility; and we die wanting to punish everyone else because we feel impotent, ill-used and unhappy.
Eleven Minutes
Ralf to Maria.

Why was it that in God’s holy world men were only interested in showing her pain. Sacred pain, pain with pleasure, pain with explanations or without, but always pain, pain, pain…
Eleven Minutes
Maria.

“I felt that pain is a woman’s friend.”
“That is the danger.”
“I also felt that pain has its limits.”
Eleven Minutes
Maria and Ralf.

…it’s (pain) a very powerful drug. It’s in our daily lives, in our hidden suffering, in the sacrifices we make, blaming love for the destruction of our dreams. Pain is frightening when it shows its real face, but it’s seductive when it comes disguised as sacrifice or self denial. Or cowardice. However much we may reject it, we human beings always find a way of being with pain, or flirting with it and making it a part of our lives.
Eleven Minutes
Ralf to Maria.

Pain and suffering are used to justify the one thing that brings only joy: love.
Eleven Minutes
Ralf to Maria.

They all believe that man feels desire for only eleven minutes a day, and that they’ll pay a fortune for it. That’s not true; a man is also a woman; he wants to find someone, to give meaning to his life.
Eleven Minutes
Maria thinking about the other prostitutes, her mother and her friends. Bodies always understand each other, even when the souls do not.
Eleven Minutes

Maria asks Ralf to touch her and feel her with his hands. In all languages in the world, there’s the same proverb: “What the eyes don’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve over”. Well, I say there isn’t an ounce of truth in it. The further off they are, the closer to the heart are all those feelings we try to repress and forget. If we are in exile, we want to store away every tiny memory of our roots. If we’re far from the person we love, everyone we pass in the street reminds us of them.
Eleven Minutes
Maria, in her diary, quoting a priest.

Love was necessary if one was to experience pleasure in bed.
Eleven Minutes
Maria thinking.

After reading those quotes you already awaked yourself on some points…

We all know it is quite harder for women to reach orgasm during intercourse so they turn to masturbation, though it is not the only reason why women as well masturbate.

Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation. A third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can by manual and oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation of female sexuality. In the past, people thought that “mature” women had their orgasms with intercourse; you will sometimes run across an older book that has this view. However, laboratory studies in the 1960’s showed that an orgasm is an orgasm no matter which way you obtain it. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity.

While there are many ways a loving partner can help a woman reach orgasm, in the end, a woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. That does not mean her partner should not be involved. Communication between partners is very important. It is up to the woman to inform her partner her likes and dislikes in their love making.

And here is the important point that the book did talk about… communication

It is never about reaching an orgasm or not or the way to reach one, but the communication between the couple, they should click together literally

“Many women enjoy the closeness and physical intimacy of sex and are satisfied even if they do not, or do not always, have an orgasm.”

I found a good simple article about masturbation:

Written by Christine Webber, psychotherapist and lifecoach

What is masturbation?

To masturbate means to stimulate yourself in a sexual way. This can be done by hand, or with sex aids – some highly-sexed women can even do it by rubbing their thighs together. And a tiny minority of women can do it with no genital contact at all, but simply through caressing their breasts.

Such stimulation often leads to orgasm, but not invariably, as many women enjoy stroking themselves and experiencing pleasure that does not necessarily culminate in a climax.

Most men have masturbated, often beginning at a fairly young age.

Women tend to start masturbation later however, and it does not tend to be such an automatic activity as it is for most men and boys.

Furthermore, even once a woman has learned to masturbate, she will probably do it less than the average man – and it seems that far fewer women than men do it regularly.

Various people have speculated on why this is the case. But most agree that it is to do with basic sex drive.

It does appear that if you compare the sex drive of an average young woman and an average young man, then the man is likely to be the more highly sexed of the two. This is partly because a woman’s fluctuating hormones tend to mean that her desire for sex is not as constant as a man’s is.

Another reason for masturbation being less important to women than men is that a man’s sexual apparatus is all outside his body and he is focused on the pleasure his penis provides him from a very young age.

Women’s sex organs are less obvious. For example, the clitoris – which is the main organ of pleasure in most women – is hidden away under the labia. Also, though this is less the case now than it used to be, girls have traditionally been brought up to be more modest and secretive about their bodies.

Even so, many young women nowadays will enjoy masturbation prior to experiencing love play or intercourse with a partner. But vast numbers of females do not discover masturbation till their late teens – and some never do it at all.

Is masturbation a good thing?

Years ago, girls were told that masturbation was an ‘immature’ activity and that it was important not to get too fixated on it and that if you did, then you might be unable to progress to ‘proper’ lovemaking with a man.

Most experts now regard this sort of advice as nonsense.

Indeed, most clinicians and counsellors working in the world of sex and/or relationship therapy believe that a woman can learn a great deal about her own sexual response through masturbation, and that she can then pass on what she knows to any partner – male or female – she may have.

So, masturbation should not be regarded as immature or shameful. It is something that most normally-sexed women do. They may reserve it for when they feel in need of a treat, or they may do it very regularly – even when they are in a relationship.

Some women choose to masturbate in order to ease abdominal cramps during their periods. Others only ever do it if they feel seriously frustrated. And yet others do it both privately and also as part of the loveplay they share with their partners. All this is normal.

For some people the very idea of stimulating themselves can seem worrying, or unappealing, or something to be ashamed of. It’s a good idea if women can rid themselves of these feelings.

Masturbation is a great way to lessen tension in your body. It’s a very safe way to have an orgasm. And it’s probably the best way to learn about how your body likes to be loved. . But masturbation, like most things, takes practice. And the only way to learn about your own sexual response is to try it.

Finally … I heard about lots of source of pleasure, like passion which is the biggest mostly.

I as well heard about women who reach orgasm without even touching their genitals, some just by thinking or watching their lover…

I as well came across something important in the book, sadism and they way pain can give pleasure to some, and how dangerous it can be as well.

does god control our destiny?

Lately I’ve decided to stop wondering and questioning a lot about God and the whole issue of existence… I can’t prove to people that God exists, not even to myself, so I like to believe he does for a reason, which is, I rather believe God exists and die to find out he doesn’t, than believe that he doesn’t and die to find out he exists.

So for me, I won’t lose anything by having faith in the unseen.

Second the whole after life thing, as a Christian I believe that we will be judged on what we did.

I do believe God created this universe and created us, different from other creatures, and gave us a “choice”. I will stop here to clarify a thing, I do not believe in the fact that we are 100% free, I believe that freedom is a conception, a perfect conception that people seek to reach, but can never be reached, like liberty, and love and peace…

But in a way or another I do believe we have limited choices that we can make ( kind of piss me off, cuz not so much of a freedom when they limit u with choices, but hey this is life )

Now my issue, is does God control us? And our destiny?

I do believe that God is aware of everything, but not of the future, he is aware of what is inside of me, and my intentions and everything, it is like you give birth to a person, and u are able to see everything through that person, what that person feels thinks and everything, and can predict what that person will do but u can’t be 100% sure

Ok, I do know that it is not smart to compare God that divine power to a person, but I am just trying to show u how I see it.

Why I don’t wanna believe that god wrote our destiny, well because if he did, than life would be meaningless, useless… and the whole creation, the reason why he created us would useless.

I mean come on, it is like a written piece of Broadway! And nothing much, and if that was true, than God would be a damn hypocrite.

How can u know someone will comment a crime, and than judge him when he does it?

If God wrote down everything, there shouldn’t be a judgment day, because it is like pulling a gun on someone head and telling him it is either u kill that person or I will kill u. and when he kill that person, he will be judge on what he did, by the person who told him to do it.

Can u see why I refuse to believe that?

I don’t like it when someone dies, and people says, it is ok, that what God wanted, or when someone’s house get on fire, and they say, that is what god wanted…. I do not believe God actually wants such thing, but such things happen in life, God is here to support us pass through things and not to cause them.

That might be true, because no one actually know the absolute truth and no one will, but that is what I like to believe, and no, I won’t make my own religion, I would like to add that the fact there is millions or religion, maybe had to do with diversity, and because people think and doubt and most religion refuse that which push people to create their own, and as long as it leads to God, I don’t think it is such a bad thing, every person is free to believe what he wants to believe.

i wanna know what you think about it, and please do respect others beliefs and opinions.

My goal from that, is to see how others look at it and how they perceive it